Belonging

Week in, week out, I labour to bring revival to this fellowship. I've seen all too much of the strife and tension that cripple the foundation of God's most vibrant and energetic ministry. Am I the one to change it? I was so sure about it last yr, was sure about it last month. Now, I trust in that no longer.

Perhaps it was God's intention that I see the fragility in my own abilities, but my zeal has lead to disappointment. How each day I dedicate my life to Him, but the ministry remains dormant, maybe its time to move on. Maybe its God's will that a lesson be learnt here. Did Paul end up convincing Corinth to move on and revive? I have not searched the answer to that question, but I am not Paul either.

2yrs I've been facing this dilemma, do I just capitulate and leave, join one of the number of Youth ministries more suited to me (CCCB, Hope Brisbane, ICC, EMP methodist) or do I linger and take the initiative to bring revival. Can I really make a difference? Time after time I sought comfort from the above Bible verse in Psalms, time after time I listened to the song "I want to run to the alter and catch the fire...we will make a difference bringing hope to this land."

I think its time to move on and stop lingering in the past, even if just for a break. All this yr of burden and intuition is exhausting. I'm going to say that at least for now, I wish to leave Sherwood Methodist and follow in God's plan for me wherever it may be.